Trials and suffering
by Spnlove101
Summary: What would happen if instead of Sam doing the trials, Dean does them instead. Cue hurt!Dean and worried!Sam. This is just my take basically on what would have happened if in trial and error if dean killed the hellhound instead and then carried on to go through the trials!
1. Chapter 1

_**Okay so this is an AU where dean is the one who goes through the trials and this picks up in trial and error just before the fight with the hell hounds. This is my first ever fanfic so don't expect it to be great! I don't own supernatural.**_

**CHAPTER 1**

Dean approached the barn, trying to keep as still as possible. Truth was, he was scared shitless, I mean this was a frickin hellhound. He knows what those things can do, hell he's been torn to shreds by one but hey better him than Sammy. He knew Sam wanted to live, could still see a future. He had to keep Sam safe, even after everything he knew that was it, the only thing that mattered. He thinks about what Sam said to him earlier about doing the trials, "So you just up and decided it's going to be you." He knew it was more of the Winchester self-sacrificing crap but he didn't have the energy to care, he knew that if he was going to die he was going to go down swinging and this way he could close the gates of hell while he was at it.

"Well here goes nothing" he thought and slid the barn door open, praying for an easy fight. Immediately he could hear the familiar growling and snarling and gripped his knife tighter. He quietly treaded through the barn towards the open door; stealth at this point was probably pointless as the hellhound appeared in the door. "Oh, so YOU'RE Crowley's bitch. I guess pets really do look like their owners,"yelled Dean as he prepared himself for a fight. Dean saw the hound ran behind the farm equipment and turned to face it, watching it as it moved. "What are you waiting for? Come and get it!" A second later, Dean felt the hellhounds hot breath surge upon him as the beast charged and threw him against the wall. Dean slid down, dropping his knife as a white-hot pain erupted in his side. Instinctively he clutched his side with one hand while he reached desperately for the knife; there was no way he was going to get there in time. BANG. Dean watched as the creature staggered back, giving Dean just enough time to clasp his fingers around the knife and thrust it upwards straight into its heart.

Dean collapsed backwards, the wound in his side becoming too much for him. "DEAN!" he vaguely hears Sam call his name and he just about processes that it must have been Sam who had shot the hellhound. He sees the shaggy blurred figure above him, telling him to stay awake but the blackness was creeping in and he was just so damn tired…

* * *

Sam watched as Dean collapsed and frantically ran over to him, praying for him to be alright as he caught a flash of red spreading over Dean's shirt. "DEAN!" he yells, he could see Deans eyes fluttering and knew he was about to pass out. "Dean! You have to stay awake man!" Sam tapped Dean on the cheek, desperate to wake him up. "Come on Dean, you did it, you killed it! you're not going to make me carry you all the way back are you?" Seeing he was having no effect, Sam pleaded one last time, "You need to wake up! Now Dean!" but Sam knew Dean was out cold. With a last check that Dean was alive and breathing, Sam lifted Dean into his arms and ran as fast as he could back to the house.

* * *

Dean woke up gradually, he could tell something had happened to him. That was obvious from the ache in his side and the sound of Sam's encouraging words that he only gets when he's been banged up: "Just a bit longer now Dean," feel free to wake up any time" "Okay I'm nearly done." Okay so he was being stitched up then, damn it hurt like a bitch. "Guess you got what you wanted after all" Dean heard Sam say. huh? what was Sam talking... oh. It all came flooding back to him. The hellhound, the trials, getting ripped open by that fugly monster. He remembers now, Sam shot it, was he okay? what if he got hurt too? "uungghh," well that wasn't what he was supposed to say, he tried again, "Sssmm," there you go that was better.

"DEAN? Dean can you hear me?" Sam had sworn he'd heard Dean say his name,"Open your eyes Dean."

Dean heard his little brother calling to him, asking him to open his eyes. He could do that, he needed to check Sammy was alright. Dean blinked open his eyes and saw Sammy inches from his face.

"Dude personal space," Dean said weakly as he pushed his brother away.

"how are you feeling?"

"like i get torn to shreds by a hellhound" Dean rasped, "any chance of a drink round here?"

"Oh shit sorry" Sam reached over to pick up a glass of water with a little pink straw. "Here you go, take small sips"

"thanks Samantha!" Dean smirked as he saw the straw, no way was Sam getting away with this one, " really dude? pink?"

"it was the only ones they had," whined Sam.

"aw what's the matter Sammy, did they not have any barbies for you to play with?"

"shut up jerk" Sam pulled a face, though he was really just glad that Dean was up and making jokes, for a moment he could forget all about those damn trials, "and it's Sam," he added for good measure.

"yeah whatever bitch" Dean laughed, savouring every precious moment; every laugh, every love filled insult, even Sam's bitchface. These were the moments that reminded him that Winchesters got to stick together, family comes first. He knew it was only a matter of time before the trials killed him, that was if some demon or angel dick didn't get to him first but hell if he didn't know how to make the best out of a bad situation, he'd had enough practice and this was no exception; he was going to enjoy it as much as he could.

_**The next chapter will probably be a bit longer. i know it sucks but i tried so please review and tell me anything you would like to see happen! i really want some suggestions :) also constructive criticism is really helpful :)**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Thankyou everyone for reading and reviewing the first chapter! Here's the next slightly longer chapter where Dean says the first spell and starts to see the effects :) enjoy **

**I do not own supernatural.**

Chapter 2

Dean winced as he went to sit down; they were back in Ellie's room now and Sam had bandaged him up good but it still hurt like a bitch. He felt like passing out or at least screaming but he couldn't, not with Sam still fussing and the trials to get on and do. Besides, he didn't want Ellie or Sam for that matter thinking he was weak. No, it was better if he just got on as usual and forgot about his stupid scratch.

He saw Ellie walking over to him and focused his energy on sitting up a little straighter and putting on a smile. It didn't seem to cut it for Ellie though, who immediately saw right through him, "you need to go to a hospital."

"Nah, I've had worse," and it was true, Dean had been through way worse than this. He'd been torn open, cut up, drained of blood, comatose; he'd lost track of how many times he'd been stitched up by Sam or himself and vice versa.

Ellie looked over at Sam as if to confirm this statement and Sam nodded his head. "Yeah, he's had worse," Sam admitted, he wished to God that this was not the case, that he could be freaked out by this sort of injury like most people were, most people would be rushing to the hospital by now but not them and he hated that.

Ellie wasn't that shocked at what Sam had said, she didn't know much about the brothers but she could see that they've been through a lot. She couldn't help but notice it, it was in everything that they did, she could see it in their eyes, in the way they stood, in the way they were always subtly checking on one another to make sure they were okay, like every second they could be snatched away from each other.

"So what now?" she finally said.

"Now we make a hex bag, and you start running. If Crowley can't find you, then he won't be able to stick another mutt on you."

"So I'm not going to hell?" she said hopefully.

"Not on my watch. Will you give us a minute?" Dean asked, he needed to talk to Sam and get on with the spell, that way there was no turning back and Sam would be safe, well, in no more danger than usual.

"Sure" Ellie said, these guys had miraculously just saved her life, she could give them a few minutes to sort out whatever new problem they had now.

* * *

Sam watched Ellie go and once he thought she was out of earshot, he looked back to Dean and told him what they both already knew, "Even if she can dodge Crowley, as soon as Ellie dies, her soul is earmarked for hell."

Dean reached out and snatched the enochian spell from Sam, "not if i can shut it down first"

"Dean are you sure about this?"

"Hell yeah I'm sure. Shutting the gates of hell, it's like a hunters dream come true"

"No Dean, come on, we both know this is like a suicide mission for you and I'm not going to try to talk you out of it because I can't make your choices for you and you're too damn stubborn anyway. I just want to make sure you know you have friends up here, family. I mean, hell, you even got your own room now. You're not a grunt, Dean. You're a genius, when it comes to lore you're the best damn hunter I have ever seen, better than me, better than dad. I believe in you, Dean. I know you can do these trials and make it through them alive; but you've got to believe you can do it too." Sam finished his speech and waited for Dean's reply. He knew Dean hated chick-flick moments but he didn't know what he'd do if his brother died, he had to make sure Dean wanted to live.

"Fine I get it, we all love each other very much, I do the trials, keep breathing and we all hug it out at the end of it blah blah blah"

Sam sighed, "Dean. Please, just promise you'll try to live through them. For me?" Sam knew he was making Dean feel guilty but if it was the only way to get through to him then he would do whatever it took.

_Dammit_ thought Dean, there was no way he could resist that, it was like the puppy eyes all over again. Those two words, "for me?" and how could he ever say no?

He looked straight into Sams eyes so he'd know that he wasn't lying and said "Fine, I promise," though in truth he wasn't sure if he really meant it. Yeah he wasn't going to commit suicide but if he died doing these trials then it wouldn't be the end of the world. He'd die knowing that it was worth something, that something good was going to come of it.

_Well here goes nothing, _"Kah-nuh-ahm-dahr," he said loudly with as much authority as he could muster. For a second he thought it hadn't worked but then it hit him and he knew it had. He staggered backwards, inhaling sharply as he did.

"Dean?" Sam didn't know what was happening but it looked like Dean was in pain, his eyes were glassy and he couldn't seem to focus on anything.

"Unngh" Dean mumbled as he fell to the floor, the spell still in his hand. He could see his arm glowing and he was thankful that it wasn't more painful, the pain was there but it was more of a distant dull ache; it was more like he was changing somehow, that someone was injecting him with some wierd ass mojo that had now become part of him. He was glad that Sam couldn't see it, he would probably freak and tell him that he couldn't do the trials any more; though he'd been surprisingly lenient earlier. Dean had thought he was going to kick up a fuss and insist that he should do it or at the very least, that Dean shouldn't but instead they'd just had a pansy, girly talk.

He could now see the glowing start to fade and as it did he became more aware of his surroundings, he hadn't even noticed that he'd zoned out.

"DEAN!" Dean turned around and stood up as he heard his brothers panicked voice. He could see that Sam was about to go into mother-hen mode so he intercepted him before he could, "I'm fine Sam, that was good, it means the spell's working." Dean could see Sam was still not convinced but he ignored him and headed out to get his stuff, knowing that Sam would be right behind.

Dean was right, Sam had seen Dean get up and shrug off whatever had just happened but he knew he couldn't press it because then Dean would just get more annoyed and close off completely. So, with a sigh, he turned and followed his brother out.

**So there you go, Dean's done the first trial and is starting to see that this is going to have an effect on him! Thanks again for all the reviews and stuff, please keep reviewing :) I'll update every 2 days as much as i can but I'll have to go back to school soon so it might slow down a bit then! **


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